Monday, June 22, 2009

Lunatics?

So I forgot to write this one up...

Leaving Las Vegas on a Monday evening after another poker trip, Matt and I encountered what seemed to be a series of events...featuring some strange behavior.

First off we get up to check our bags, and weird things are happening. The Kiosk does read Matt's credit card so he uses another one. Finally it says "Get boarding pass at gate" which is odd. Then the guy never calls his name, as people that arrived and checked in after us continue to stream by. Matt finally says something to the guy, who just sort of mumbles "hold on one sec" as he fiddles with some paper printer machine thingy. Once he gets that sorted out he "forgets" about Matt waiting and calls the next name on his list... someone that arrived and checked in at the kiosk long after we did. Eventually we just barge up to the counter and get it sorted out with another employee, who gives us only a fraction of shit for breaking the line. So it began.

Next, its up through security and then over to the gate. Before we get to the gate we pass by a young woman standing against the wall speaking into her cell phone, who lets rip one of the best hypocritical phrases ever, "Stop it! Shut up and don't FUCKING cuss at me!" She continues to rant on at some unseen soul on the other end of the line. That one got me laughing.

Its not more than a few seconds later that I look over to the right at one of the other gates and a group of girls are surrounding their friend as she is screaming "Noooooooo!" and sobbing, with mascara running down her face. Whoa. What's going on around here?

So we proceed to the gate counter to get Matt's boarding pass and have to wait a bit because there is a guy in front of us bitching and moaning to the gate agent that he won;t make his connecting flight... as if there is anything a gate agent can do about a late flight. He repeats himself 4 or 5 times as the ever-so-patient gate agents just nod and smile. Finally he is off and we approach the counter, and I finally ask, "Is it a full moon tonight?" only half-joking.

We get the boarding pass and while waiting, we observe two baggage handlers/ground crew having a discussion that goes something like this:

"If you've got a problem with me, you need to come say it to MY FACE!"
"I'm not sure what you heard but..."
"No, you need to man up and come say it to my face not behind my back..."
etc, etc, etc. They eventually walk back down to the tarmac, their voices trailing off...

Our not-even-half-full flight is boarding now, but rather than stand in the jetway waiting for everyone to put away their bag, we just choose to be the last ones on the plane. That's when a family comes running down the hallway with a mother literally dragging a child and a huge bag behind her screaming "Wait! Wait! We're coming!" even after 2 or 3 Southwest employees have told her she can relax and walk as she is in no danger of missing the plane. She must think they are trying to trick her because she continues to drag the children on-board at a hurried pace, huffing, puffing, and sweating under the weight of her heavy frame, child, and gargantuan piece of luggage that in no way will fit in an overhead compartment.

We finally get seated, taxi, and take off. It's cloudy and overcast in Las Vegas on this evening. But its a low ceiling and we break through the clouds at about 6 thousand feet.... to reveal a big, beautiful, and totally full moon.


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